showers & deep thoughts

i love the ritual of bathing. i am not speaking of this in the way of a religious ritual, but more of daily cleansing of the physical body. not only is it relaxing, i also have the time to think sole about myself. for some, that would way too self-centered, but if we really don’t think about our self at least once a day, then who is going to think about us?

today me thoughts shifted from several ideas and back. i started out thinking about shifting expectations and perspectives to singleness and learning how to enjoy this time in my life and truly embracing it to what messages the church is giving us single people when they all but ignore us or are just afraid of us, and back to perspectives. yea, it’s a lot… deep stuff… think about all this too much and it will hurt the brain.

i was thinking about a scene in the “sex and the city” movie where the gals are gathered for their routine meal and were talking about “coloring” and the shifting change that has happened in one of their marriages. (btw… if you don’t know what i mean by “coloring” then shoot me an email and i will explain all… or see the movie.)

i have learned that things never stay the same and change is always happening. we can’t avoid it… everything will change. the sun sets, and the sun rises… in genesis God called it good, we think of it as just another day, but really it a new change. when reading theĀ  story we see that every day that God created was different, and i think He did that purposeful. come on, He is after all… God. if He wanted to create everything in one day, He would have. but He didn’t, nor do i think He wanted to. (i will end this here… because this it truly a whole other post)

and just as the day changes, so do our perspectives. what and how we think about something in one season of our life will completely change in another, and depending on what else is happening around us and what has happened around us, we will think of things different with different perspectives. i for one want to embrace change, but it scares the crap out of me. i want to be able to just shake it off and just another tumble, but truly it’s not.

so, i am left with two options… either rest in the solace of myself and search for something that truly could never be found, or seek hard after God, trusting that He will guide me, because He searches me and knows me.

I vote God.