I committed to this at just the wrong time, but what’s a girl to do? Here is what I’ve committed to do. Blog… for 31 days. 500 words a day. It’s so nice that October has the required 31 days and it was only a few days away from when I made this initial commitment.
While I am starting this commitment, I am also committed to volunteering for the National Youth Workers Convention here in Sacramento. Imagine 1500 + youth pastor types ascending on this fair city. They will laugh. They will eat. They will worship. They will pray. They will bring all their baggage, their brokenness, their joy, their struggles… they will bring it all with them. And hopefully while they are here, they will be able to lay it all at the foot of the cross.
While there everyone has the opportunity to make a new commitment. Some will make a new commitment to themselves. Some will make a new commitment to their ministry. Some will renew their commitment to Christ. (Yes, it does happen) Some will renew or make a new commitment to their spouse and possibly their family. Some will make a new commitment to their kids. All in all, being a youth pastor, director, or minister is similar to almost any other profession. You have the opportunity to get so engrossed in what you do, that you can forget about those around you. The folks that need to be your first priorities, the ones whose faith and journey with God need to be of more importance that any kids any a youth group. You know, you family… your spouse, your kids.
That commitment to your family is the second most important commitment that you will ever make as an adult. The first one being the commitment you made to God. But what about the folks who haven’t made that commitment. The folks who are vocational ministry folks who haven’t married yet and don’t have kids. This is my boat.
At times I feel less validated in my call to vocational ministry from people because of my lack of a husband and kids. Because I don’t know the struggle of balancing family life and professional life all wrapped up in the church/Christian context. I don’t what it’s like to miss a milestone in my kids life, because I was leading a mission trip or at camp with 20 of my best high school friends. I don’t know what it’s like to live into the expectation of having my spouse and kids be a part of the church and act accordingly. I don’t know what it’s like to have my marriage and parenting under a microscope disguised as the congregation of the church I work for. I do know that everyone, at least mostly everyone, means well and comes from a place of love. But, I don’t envy that one bit. And I will also say that this does not deter me from wanting all that.