i have been thinking a lot about singleness lately, specifically my singleness. now before you go and move on to another blog, i want to make this clear: this is not a “woe is me, i am still single” post. on the contrary, it’s a “i’m single… now let me make good use of it” post.
God has me in this season of singleness for a reason. i can sit and speculate a good afternoon away about what those possible reasons are, or i can absorb where i am right now, because i truly believe that the “reason for my season” is here, right before me.
as i was sitting in the salon chair today, in a somewhat captive state due to the “future professional” cutting my hair, the conversation we had took its typical twists and turns. as usual the subject matter turned to my profession and the question i actually want people to ask me: “so, how’d you get into youth ministry?”
i stumbled over my words when i began answering the question. (which was odd for me because if you know me, you know i have words… and lots of them!) finally after my quick firing synapses were, well firing, i came to this final, concise answer: “because this is where God has brought me.”
my mom reminded me a while back that the one thing, the one job i have always wanted in my entire life is to be a wife and mom. being a florist was short lived, the fantasies of being a top chef still dangle in my dreams, there really could be something to this writing/journalism thing, and even being a tractor sales person faded when i learned just because the tractors were on the way to grandma’s house, i didn’t need to sell them.
in examining my life up until now, the time and space for a husband and kids was non-existent. that for such a time as this, my life has been richly blessed with opportunity to share God, to share love with people. sure, there have been opportunities that i have squandered because they have coincided with brief moments of my stupidity. but in the grand scheme of things i think i have done a pretty decent job.
i am reminded of esther, in the book of esther (which i have a knack of referring to as ruth when i am speaking about it), and the challenge that mordecai presents to her when they both discover that she could possibly save the jews. now by no means am i saying that i have saved the jews or anything of that sense, but i can relate to being in an opportune place at an opportune time. esther had to be in the palace, as the queen, for any of that to happen.
i am no queen, nor do i think that God is going to have me save a people group from complete annihilation. but i do think that God has me in this season of singleness for just that… a season. He has not taken the desire away to be a wife or a mom, but if anything given me more opportunity to refine some skills.