huey, of huey lewis & the news, crooned that it was hip to be square. remember that… it was the 80s, a while ago! but although i was about 9 when it was hip to be square, at least according to huey, i recently realized that it was hip to be broken, at least in the world of good-church-goers-who-love-Jesus!
my question is: how broken do i really need to be or continue to be?
recently a pastor friend said that he came to the realization that we all have shit in our lives. the funny part about it is that the closer we draw to God in our everyday walk, the shittier our lives can get because more and more shit is brought to the surface.
it’s true… i am going through a season not liking life so much right now… and it mostly has to do with a lot of the really dumb, bad, horrible choices i have made of late. but what i am realizing that i am no more a sinner than i was two months ago, two years ago or two decades ago! (wow, i can actually say that i have lived longer than two decades! amazingly scary!)
so, if i am a sinner, the same sinner… and a sin is a sin is a sin… then why do in need to constantly chase after my brokenness? for some it is chasing because there never really seems to be an end to it! it’s almost like i am stalking my brokenness, getting real close to it, but yet just far enough away that i can’t touch it.
i recently read that the choices that i am making about how i am living my life is a direct reflection to my relationship with God! wow, i knew that, but in the very moment i took that in, i realized that it is completely true!
my relationship with God, the past six months, has really sucked! i have done a really good job at asking Him to come closer, yet keeping Him an arms length away because it has been more convenient.
i am frustrated at the constant thing that it is hip to be broken. i know that i took that in too much and allowed myself to be more broken then i needed to be. i made horrible, bad choices that only magnify my brokenness. and i have just gotten to the point (in the last two months) that i done being the way i want to be.
yes, God wants us to not only admit that we are broken, but realize that He is the only one who can mend us! He wants us to yearn after Him and walk towards His glorious light! (not in the weird death kind of way… at least not yet!)
there needs to be more… coming soon!