i usually go to bed every night telling myself that tomorrow will be better, and sometimes prefacing it with saying that today was a great day. for almost thirty years now, i have woken up most mornings telling myself that “today will be a great day.” just recently i was just wondering how i know that. wondering where my guarantee was that this one particular day really would be a better day than the day before. wondering how and what i could do to make it a better day than the one before.
i have also been thinking a lot about works and how that plays into my life as well as my faith. recently a friend to me that i am “a very helpful person,” and i agreed with him. i also know, and have known for many years, that i am a service oriented person who would rather serve someone or somewhere else, rather than do anything for my self. (hence as to why house is in a constant state of… well just being typically messy!)
i work and i work well. the job that i am now transitioning out of is still leaving my heart with the ripples of pain, discontent and resentment. in the beginning i served and i did it well. there are even some areas that i am still serving well. i have noticed that along the way that my service in this position became less about serving the one true God out of love and grace, but became about doing it out of obedience for the church. it has become an almost robotic routine which has become a foothold for the satan to plant the seeds of doubt and resentment.
i have also noticed that it has become increasingly harder and harder to tell myself on a daily basis in the morning that this day will be a great day and at night that tomorrow will be a great day. the seeds of doubt and resentment are incereasing into full-on fluroshing flowers that may look nice at first, but are truly the ugliest things on the planet.
if i believed that i will be saved through the “good” works that i do, then i have my ticket to heaven already paid for, but i don’t. i believe in our one true God who has saved us through the grace of Jesus Christ and His death on the cross. i want my works to return to being done out of a desire to serve the Kingdom of God. i want to utilize my talents, passions and desires to expand the Kingdom of God and not tear it down.
i can’t create a better tomorrow for myself or anyone for that matter. but what i can do is wake up in the morning and declare that this day is a day of service for the Kingdom of God rooted in the love, grace and mercy that has been extended to me through the death of Jesus Christ on the cross. my hope fully rests in the God and not on my abilities to do things or make things happen.