ok, it was actually a little over a week ago, but the experience has carried on. i went to south ninth street with my ywma friends where they were having a bbq. i got there late, no surprise, and i was bringing the condiments. once i got there i stepped into the line and began squirting out the ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise for the burgers and dogs that were being grilled up behind us. as the people would come down the line i made a point to look everyone, at least everyone that would let me, in the eye. as i did this i would say to myself: this could be a friend, this could be my mom, this could be my dad, this could be my grandparents, this could be Jesus.
later that day i was thinking about the numerous times that Jesus feed people. one of the passages on my top ten favorite passages is where Jesus and the disciple were feeding five thousand men, and many more women and children, and they only had a limited amount of fish and bread. the disciples were in doubt but Jesus was not. He knew that He would be able to provide.
too often i have moments when i realize that alone I am not enough to be a youth director or work in a church or be an example to the world or my family. i often wonder why am i here doing what i am doing. there are other times when i think that i want to be here and do what i am doing, but i also want to do so much more and help everyone… not just those i come into contact with on a daily basis.
i loose my confidence. i misplace my faith and forget the Jesus is the one who can do it all. i allow myself to become so involved with my own life, not that’s it that great anyway, the i forget that there are so many more important people and things to be doing. i forget the simplicity of giving someone five dollars for something to eat is such a better example than sitting them down to tell them about Jesus.
Jesus feed them. Jesus cared for them in some many, ways that i feel so inadequate with my small attempts to do anything. but then i am reminded what 1 peter says that we are to offer hospitality to one another, that we are to do it without grumbling.
we have no place to complain, but we do it anyway. why?